Thankful

This weekend was good. So good for my soul. BJ came to visit us, and it was so wonderful to see her. We didn't do all that much—but it felt so good to be in the company of friends all weekend. I mean, hanging out with J, BJ, and M all evening is quite a luxury for me!

BJ was such a calming presence all weekend. She cooked us dinners, kept us entertained, and had so many wise and loving things to say. We shared pictures of the boys with her, as well as the objects in their room. The three of us (J, BJ and I) had a long talk about what J and I feel we really need, or any needs that aren't being met. The only thing we came up with is a break, and time away. As much as we truly appreciate being surrounded by friends and family, we are both feeling the need to break away from everything, at least for a short time. Part of that need involves being away from the house, away from all things familiar, all reminders of the crappiness of that last two months. Part of it means not having to talk to multiple people every day about my reproductive health. We had both kind of written of the idea in our heads, because we certainly can't go on vacation in the near future. But BJ made the very good point that if God wants us to have something like that, He will provide and bless us. We could approach our bosses and ask for unpaid time this summer, or something. If this is something that is really important for our healing, and God will bless us in that.

J and I talked some more about the idea last night. We need to spend time praying about it, and figuring out if it is really something that God would have us do. Then, the scary part of asking for time off after I've just been off for eight weeks! Yikes! We'll see.

Anyways, the weekend was good, and I still feel pretty good today. I know there will be bad days and good days, but it sure is nice to at least have hope that today will be good.

I see the kidney doctor this afternoon. Really, really hoping this doesn't mean another awkward "how is the baby?" question from them. That happened on Friday at my OB appointment, of all places, and I don't know how much more I can take. I sent in my patient registration, and indicated that I have two deceased children, so if anyone takes the time to read anything, maybe this appointment will work out better. Sigh. Oh, my OB visit went well, and I have lots of info and thoughts about it, but that's for another post.