Ugh.

Last night was messy. I started a fight with my hubby, which seemed totally rational the the beginning, but got less and less reasonable as it went on. And it all came down to the fact that I was disappointed with how the evening had gone. And then that word, disappointed, kept ringing in my head. I have been so disappointed with so many things over the past few months. Or maybe just one thing, really, but it is all-consuming. And as this word resounded in my head, I could NOT. stop. crying. Of course it wasn't about J at this point, it was about my boys.

It was ridiculous. Sometimes I feel like a crazy person. I can barely manage my emotions, and I'm horrible at predicting them, so I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for other people to guess what I might do next.

I guess I was due for a breakdown anyway. That's how things go for me lately: I'll be fine for a few days, even a week, and eventually it all comes crashing down again. Ugh. I want to get off this ride.

ETA: Oh yeah: Sunday will be my original due date. Based on how the week has gone so far, I think I'm in for a rough ride.