A Letter to Evan

To my little baby Evan,

Oh, sweetheart, how I miss you. You were such a tiny little thing, such a beautiful baby. You were so delicate and perfect.

You showed me your personality even before you were born! You were so active, and blessed me with so many sweet moments during pregnancy. The first kick I felt was from you. I felt you moving inside of me often. One of my favorite memories of us together is in the mornings when I first woke up. Before getting up, I would place my hands on my belly to see if you would move for me. More often than not, you did! Sometimes your brother joined in, too, but you were always my squirmy baby.

Evan, we only shared 4 minutes together outside of my womb, but I treasure every single second that we had together. I gazed at you, and held your tiny body for so long. My sweet little boy.

I imagine that you would have been my mischievous boy, my little rascal. You were smaller, but I think you would have been the tough one, and the trouble maker, between you and Asher. You would have been messy, and loud, and rambunctious as a little boy. You would have gotten in lots of trouble, but you would still be a sweetheart in the end. Evan, I imagine cuddling up with you to read you a story before bed. I imagine teaching you things about the world. You would have been smart, and you and Asher would have made up all kinds of stories and schemes together. Oh, how I miss being able to see you grow up together.

Evan, your name means "God is good." And even though I am heartbroken that you are not here, I praise God that you and Asher are safe and whole in Heaven. I am thankful that in your short life, you only knew love. I can't wait to see you again someday.

I love you, baby,
Mommy