Scattered Memories

It's funny the things I remember about the time surrounding the boys' births. There are the obvious things that anyone would want to remember, but the "funny" things are those that pop into my head randomly throughout the day. They are mostly insignificant details, odd thoughts that ran through my head, little moments. They may not be important, really, but it is so important to me that I remember every single little thing, so matter how silly or small.

I remember...

• ...asking the nurse whether I would have to dilate to 10 centimeters before I could deliver the boys, and the nurse and my mom saying, "That's a really good question."
• ...being told by nurse Maureen that the babies' heads would be about the size of a tennis ball.
• ...the feeling of the narcotic entering my body through the IV. I said to Jason, "I can feel it kicking in. There it is...."
• (this is funny) While pushing, the doctors were holding my legs in the air, and I remember thinking that my thighs looked really nice at that angle.
• ...laying in bed on that morning, breathing through contractions and trying to let Jason sleep for just a few more minutes. Eventually I said, "Honey. It's time for you to get up now."
• ...seeing a news story on TV about the Duggar family. The mom had delivered her umpteenth baby at 25 weeks, due to preeclampsia. I said hopefully to J, "Look honey, she had preeclampsia and had her baby really early. And the baby is doing OK!"
• ...my dad arriving at the hospital for the second time, after J called him and told him to come back because we had to deliver. He came in to my room and just lost it. We held each other and sobbed. I have never seen my dad cry like that.
• ...sobbing uncontrollably after Dr. Wagner came to talk to us and give us the bottom line. I was absolutely wailing, not caring at all who heard me. My mom was sobbing, too. And then she left to call someone, and when she came back she said that she wasn't sure it was the right room, because the woman in the room next to mine was crying, too.
• ...feeling SO grateful and happy when the nurses produced beautiful knit blankets and hats for our boys to wear, because obviously we didn't have clothes for them. I felt "happy" that they had them to wear, and plan to send blankets and hats to the hospital every year, to ensure that other moms can have that comfort.