6 months

Yesterday marked 6 months since my baby boys entered and left this world.

It seems like a very big milestone to reach. Asher and Evan have now been gone longer than I was pregnant with them. (Technically that date passed a couple weeks ago, but I really feel it at the 6-month mark, because I was so close.)

More and more I've been struck by how much the world has moved on. I have moved forward a lot, but I still think of them, miss them, remember them on a daily basis. December 16th still feels like only a few weeks ago. I can recall details of those days in the hospital with perfect clarity. And then I realize it is summer now, and am struck by how much time has passed in "the real world." It's a different season, a different year. My loss is still at the forefront of my mind every day, and I have to remind myself that for others, it's something that happened to me "a while ago." How odd that people can operate on such different scales of time.

I hope to post later about what my grief looks like at 6 months out. And I hope to write a letter to my boys. But for now I just have to say I can't believe it's 6 months long since I held them. And I wish they were here.