Weekend Recap

Well, the weekend in Newtown went really well! It was so good to see J's family, especially Natalie. We showed her the pictures of Asher and Evan. I cried, of course, but I was so happy to show them, and happy to see my boys again. It's funny, I have that reaction very time I share those photos. It is always difficult, but I love and appreciate any opportunity to show them to others.

Church went OK, too. A couple of comments made me tear up, but other than that people mostly just asked about the weather. We only went to the service, not Sunday school, so that helped, too. Oh, and the baby shower was out of town, and the girl was, too! I was soooo thankful not to have a very pregnant lady sitting behind me during church.

I am so glad the "first time back" is behind us, and I don't have to be anxious about it anymore. And I am so thankful that it went well. God was faithful, and protected me all weekend.

J and I had some good conversations in the car over the weekend, too. We've decided to finally, officially, get our graphic design business going! J even thought of a name: Creatively Paired. We talked about our goals with this business, and it was nice to talk about the future in a hopeful way. The major goal right now, after the obvious goal of making some extra income, is for me to be able to stay home with our kids. This was the first time since the boys were born that we've spoken about kids in a hopeful, positive way. After the boys died, all of our "whens" turned to "ifs." It's nice to be able to even mention the possibility of children, even in a very hypothetical, vague way. I hope that soon we will be able to look forward even more.

I felt better just being out of the house, out of town this weekend. Today, it was back to the real world. Getting back home and back to the office, My pain weighs me down and suffocates me. Any escape, even to Newtown, feels like a chance to breathe.