This week, but especially today, has flown by at work. We are so, so busy. I haven't had much time to think about anything other than work. EXCEPT our upcoming garage sale! We're having a garage sale all day tomorrow, and I am nerdily excited about it. I just love getting rid of stuff, and actively trying not to be a pack rat. It won't be a huge sale, because there's only two of us, but it is amazing how much stuff one couple can accumulate in a short time. I will feel better to have less of it in our house. And it will be kinda fun to have an excuse to sit around outside all day.
I've been thinking about many things, but haven't been taking the time to write about them lately. Well, part of it is time, part of it is that I catch myself thinking, "Have I written about that already?" I feel like a broken record sometimes, in this grief journey. I mean, I can only describe my grief with so many metaphors before even I get tired of reading. At the same time, this blog exists for that very purpose, and so I don't explode IRL from holding in my feelings. I feel like I'm in an odd state of limbo with my emotions. Half the time I feel pretty OK and normal-ish, and half the time I find myself wondering how much longer I have to put up with this. I am trying to be gentle with myself, but it's hard. I am impatient. I am restless. I am uncomfortable in my current position in life. Half the time I'm being gentle and allowing myself to just be, and the other half I'm yelling at myself "Will you just snap out of it and LIVE already??"
There seems to be a delicate balance of learning to live in this state. Something for me to ponder this weekend, while I sit outside and hope people buy our stuff.
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